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Bye Bye Appendix

April 28, 2013

I have been missing. I know. But I have a great excuse!!

I had to say bye bye to my appendix.

Thursday morning I wake up feeling a bit crappy. Crampy, really. Sorry boys.  I will try to keep girly talk to a minimum.

It was pretty uncomfortable but not enough to keep me from doing what I needed to do. I mention to my girlfriend (the same one from hiking) that I am pretty sure I have a cyst that is rupturing. She disagrees. I continue on my day. Go to bed that evening and wake up at 2:00 AM feeling very very nauseous. I finally fall back to sleep a few hours later.

Friday rolls around the nausea is a bit better but I am still feeling crampy and just generally not feeling very well. At my husband’s nagging I make a doctor’s appointment. I reason that even if it is nothing I might as well make the appointment since it is friday and I don’t want to have to go to ER if I don’t feel better by the weekend. The soonest they can see me is 3:00 that afternoon. As the day progresses I am not feeling any better and I am beginning to feel really glad I made that appointment.

I lay down to take a nap at 11 in the afternoon, wake up at 2:30 just before I need to leave for my appointment. I am feeling a tad better but head off to the doctors anyways. I slowly drive myself and get checked in.

The doctor comes in and does an exam. She asks if I am sexually active…… I tell her “I have been married for 9 years, so… seems like a strong word. Sexually sedentary?” She finds no humor in that, I know we are not going to do well.
The pain of her touching me was unbearable! I am bawling like she is abusing me, I am begging for her to stop, telling her I lied. I feel fine. Let me go home. She pauses and says “your bleeding.” I say “okay?” I am thinking of course I am bleeding, your elbow deep Bitch! She says “No, there is a lot of blood. You need to get up right now!” Um….ok? She tells me she needs me to drive to get a CT Scan about 25 minutes away. Fine. I go.

4:00 PM – I arrive to the place for the CT Scan. They give me this large thing of red fluid to drink. Once I am done they do the scan.

red contrast stuff

Isn’t it nice of me, in my moment of pain, to think of you and take this picture.

I have to wait for them to check the scan so that they can make sure they have everything they need. In the meantime they hand me a disc of the scan they had just done. I wait…..and wait…..and wait.

I am growing increasingly uncomfortable and really just want to go home. It is now 6 at night, my husband has had to pick up both the boys, do all the stuff he doesn’t normally have to do in taking care of them and then occasionally take a call from me yelling, crying and cursing. The CT people finally come out and say “ok, we spoke with your doctor and we need you to go to the ER now.”
“Why?” I ask…
“We need you to go to the ER, right now” they repeat
“Well what did the CT scan say?”
“We can’t discuss that but we need you to go to the ER”

Let me get this straight. I pay $25 for my doctor to send me here, then I pay you $125 to tell me nothing and then send me to the ER where I will have to pay another $150 for what? For them to tell me I have a cyst rupturing and send me home?! No! I want to know why I am going to the ER. Nobody is willing to tell me anything. After yet another phone call to my poor husband where I am yelling, cursing and crying. I tell the CT people I will not go to the ER until SOMEONE tells me why I am going. I ask them to get my doctor on the phone and I want her to tell me what the hell is going on. They promise they will but ask me to at least head to the ER in the meantime.

I get in my car and head towards home. The ER is just a few blocks from my house so I figure if nothing else I can go home and if I feel any worse I will head over. I call my Momma and she convinces me to head to the ER. It is her opinion that the primary doctor would have had to call the ER to tell them I am coming and why, so they HAVE to know something. Sounds good to me. I head over.

I tell them I don’t want to check in but I do want to know what is going on. They placate me and send me off to the waiting room. Where I wait…..and wait….and wait…for another 45 minutes. They finally call my name and I head back. I explain the days events and ask “why am I here now?” They are super confused. Apparently most people who go to the ER know why they are there. They don’t typically show up and ask the ER people why they are there….

They convince me to let them check me out and promise they will take care of me. I reluctantly agree.

The doctor did not call them, they could not reach her. No one sent the CT Scans to them either. Luckily I had the disc in my purse so I hand that over. The ER doctors take that and immediately go to look at the disc. Oh, did I forget to tell you there was an entourage! Oh yes yes yes. They were training! The main doctor comes back fairly quickly and explains we have 2 problems and they really are not sure which one is our actual problem.

My appendix is enlarged and looks like it is in the beginning stages of appendicitis AND there is a cyst on top of the appendix that could be a problem as well. They don’t know which one is the culprit but suggest watching me over night to see what happens. If it is just the cyst I won’t get any worse. If it is the appendix I am only going to get worse. “But” he warns we still need to consult with the surgeon and he may say something else and we need to go with what he says.

Surgeon comes in and says “we need to go in to surgery. We are going to start in about 30 minutes.”

I am panicky but nicely doped up on morphine. Thanks awesome male nurse!

Not my actual nurse but pretty damn close

Not my actual nurse but pretty damn close.

The surgeon comes in to prep me. I have to verbally explain to them what my understanding is of the operation. As they are giving me the happy drugs. I tell the surgeon that if something should happen during the surgery and he “accidentally” gives me a tummy tuck or I wake up with boobs a size or two bigger than when I walked in, I understand. Shit happens. I won’t blame him at all. I tell my husband to give him some money…..

Part 2


From → Self Abuse

  1. My brother just went through the same thing. I stayed at the hospital with him- his was worse than they thought. He is doing fine now. By the way..Your blog is hilarious! Thanks for sharing and I hope you feel better.

    • MommaBee permalink

      Thank you so much! Did he get the fun puking too? I really liked that part a lot…..Stay tuned they sent me home with percocet and I have WIFI!!! Deadly combination or hilarious, time will tell my friend….

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