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Idiots Guide to Smarter Hiking

April 17, 2013

If you have read about my recent attempt at hiking you understand why I need a list to help make my next hike a little bit smoother. So lets dive right in

Smarter Hiking

  • Wear sunblock
    • I know this one seems obvious…but uh, I am an idiot, so….
  • Wear a sports bra – I don’t think you need me to elaborate on this one, do you?
  • Wear shorts….not freaking jean pants like an idiot
  • NO camera
    • I brought my big ass Canon 20D AND lenses (10 extra lbs later) and forgot the freaking SD Card, because I am an….. there you go!
  • Stretch – before and after
  • Consider looking at a map of where you are supposed to go BEFORE getting there…or pass it
  • Don’t wear black, in Arizona!
  • Bring a change of clothes
  • and a shower bag (shampoo and stuff)
  • Use a lightweight bag, that doesn’t hit you in the ass the whole way up the mountain
  • Get some hiking boots
    • fuck me pumps are not appropriate for hiking. Just kidding I am not THAT stupid
  • Bring some wet wipes to clean up the crap that collects on your face. Gross

I left this one short a sweet because I envision you reading this with a puzzled look on your face. Is she really wasting valuable letters on this shit? Ya, I am also somehow envisioning wheel of fortune…..

So there is my list. What am I missing? Guess we will find out on the next hike. Tune in next weekend to see if we do any better.

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From → Self Abuse

8 Comments
  1. I prefer the term intelligence challenged to idiot. Just so you know 😛

    • MommaBee permalink

      You might prefer it but it is the most accurate term given our above list? I mean we had to add a reminder to wear a sports bra!!

    • I found myself nodding my noggin all the way thghruo.

    • MommaBee permalink

      I am sad that you didn’t actually write anything. I wanted to read it with an accent in my head 🙂

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