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I like going down

April 16, 2013

I have a best friend who just loves to try new things. She just enjoys life and wants to live it to the fullest. And like many of your friends, I am sure, she loves to bring me down with her….

“I just read this whole article on fasting and how it is soooooo good for you…..let’s do it!”
“Bat shit is the new miracle drug! Let’s eat it!!”
“….race where you pogo stick for 15 miles……I’ll sign us up”


Her last attempt to broaden our horizons involved running. She decided we needed to run a 5k. Now keep in mind 2 very important facts when considering whose side you are on -cause I know you are.

1) We have NEVER run a day in our lives….ok, once but it was in high school and involved cops.

2) She decided this in July for a race in September …..we live in Arizona….we had to train in the middle of the summer. My side, huh?

Well, suffice it to say that BFF enjoys trying new things….not maintaining that new thing as a habit or interest. She did it. She’s done. I am more….competitive than that. So I am now left running by myself.

Fast Forward

A local magazine published a Bucket List of things that one just HAD to do in our state. Item number 16 was a “summit challenge” that involves hiking 23 miles….20+3 more…..miles…..hiking. Anyone want to guess what season we are approaching? You sir, did you say summer? Why, that is correct! Sharp as a whip, you are. Anyone else want to guess WHO read item number 16 and said ding ding ding THIS is what we should do with our summer???
I will save you the details of that conversation but we started our “training” Saturday. We did the shorter of the hikes first, we thought shorter = easier. Wrong! It was not easier. It was quite difficult actually. I don’t remember a lot of the hike (trauma or something) but I do remember using my very limited breath to utter the phrase, “I…. am…… going…… to…….. kill……… you” while glancing over the edge of the mountain and wondering if a body full of cactus would be worth tossing myself over, thus getting me that much closer to my car.

Recap of the hike

BF and I are dying hiking
While 5 and 6 year olds run past us up the mountain…..
Then I am passed by a guy in a weird gas mask (I swear to god!) who grunts at me……gasmask
BF starts to audibly wonder if weird grunter has planted a bomb at the top….

After many breaks, much complaining and a growing list of “next time we need to….” we reach the top!


On the way down – are legs are shaking but I, for one, quickly realize and LOUDLY verbalize “I like going down!”

and guess who we see coming up the mountain…….gasmask

This time BF gets the church giggles – you know the ones, where you begin to inappropriately laugh so you try and squelch it which in turn makes you laugh even harder….and louder.

We FINALLY make it to flat land and make our way to our car….which is guarded by 7 steps….7 steps that I canNOT do. I beg my legs, plead with them. Promise them that this is the last 7 steps they will have to do, they know I am a liar but they painfully give in. My legs sit complaint free in the car for the 15 minute drive home. I see my husband and kids in the front yard. I quickly get out of the car excited to tell them all how amazing we are, BF quickly gets out of her side rushing to promises of a shower and food, the next thing I know I am holding on to the trunk of the car for dear life and BF if laid out on her car door…..We failed to inform our legs that my street is sloped, which means an ever so slight incline to “my side of the street” from where we parked. apparently the .001% incline is too much for our legs. Pleading continued……


From → Self Abuse

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